In an interesting turn of events, the cable news network CNN has announced it will be embracing the “fake news” moniker bestowed upon them by many conservatives.

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“Screw it,” commented President of CNN Worldwide, Jeffrey Zucker in a statement to Politicule.com – “if those freaks think we’re fake news, we’ll give them fake news.”

The new direction takes place starting September 1, 2018 and is already poised to get the world talking.

Zucker continued, “Check out this badass list of content we’re prepping for our our global distribution channels:

Lead Story, September 1

“Trump Raps Alongside Lil’ Wayne for New Single ‘Dat A$$’ – Exclusive Audio”

Lead Story, September 2

“Paul Manafort Smokes Marijuana with Jury”

Lead Story, September 3

“Melania Trump: Drunk Again in Public – Nip Slip Shocks All (PICS)”

 

Many media critics have decisively called this shocking and anti-American, though CNN is standing firm that this is the right decision.

“What’s more American than giving the people what they want? You say ‘fake news,’ OK, we’ll be fake news. The frig do I care? It’s all a big deal until those clicks and pageviews start piling up, am I right?!” commented Zucker as he snuffed out his gold mini-cigarillo he had bummed off a nearby network news editor.

Politicule.com will monitor this story closely via CNN’s new mobile app, which has been in the top three most searched and downloaded apps in the Android app store. The app is aptly titled, “Boobs.”


Followup (Added 8-13-18): Many of our readers emailed us indicating the Melania story was hardly believable as “fake news”. We concur.

 

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