Former Governor of Florida and candidate for President of the United States, Jeb Bush has surfaced in Florida.
Having little to no fanfare after his lackluster performance during the 2016 Presidential election, Bush was spotted last Thursday at 10:13am in a “Big Johnson’s Erection Section” muscle shirt and cut off jogging pants, sitting at a local bar in Sarasota, Florida.
Bush could not be approached for comment, as he had inexplicably fashioned a velvet rope around his bar stool, but by all accounts, he seemed very relaxed and happy.
“Guy can drain beers, that’s for sure” commented bartender Lexi Fogle. “He’s always trying to sneak cigs while he’s sitting in here, and we always laugh when I tell him to put it out or go outside. He calls his Turkish Gold unfiltered cigarettes ‘his stubbies.’”
After word spread of Bush’s appearance at the bar, locals took quickly to his “every man” lifestyle he now has embraced.
“Snap, I’d vote for Jebby in a heartbeat,” noted local resident Marjory Nut. “Jeb may not run for President next time around, but I’ll tell you what, by the looks of those chicken legs on him, I’d give him a shot at my hanging chad if you know what I’m saying.”
Bush was last seen surrounded by a pile of silver scratch ticket dust as he continued to plow through a pile of “Three Dollar Holla” lottery tickets.
“You know I’ve seen him snort that scratchie dust,” commented the bartender.