A day after President Trump’s jaw-dropping joint press conference with Russian President Vladimir Putin, former President Barack Obama, speaking in Johannesburg, bemoaned the “utter loss of shame among orange Teletubby-like political leaders who won’t quit lying.”

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“Former President Obama did not mention anybody by name, he was speaking in general,” proclaimed Nancy Emmett, a live-reported on the scene for CNN. “And for that, we remain grateful, as always, that our former Commander-In-Chief had not resorted to direct attacks, like our current President would most certainly do.”

“Politicians have always lied, but it used to be if you caught them lying they’d be like, ‘Oh, man,’” Obama said Tuesday in a speech marking the 100th anniversary of Nelson Mandela’s birth. “Now, these triple-chinned Cheeto heads just keep on lying. I, of course, am speaking of Cheeto heads in general, not naming names.”

“Unfortunately, too much of politics today seems to reject the very concept of objective truth,” he said. “Tax-return-hiding, silver-spooned loudmouths just make stuff up.”

Obama said that in preparing his lecture, he “thought about the American press, and how they often got frustrated in my long-winded answers at press conferences, when my responses didn’t conform to two-minute soundbites. Now, they have what they want, with long-winded, hooker-paying clowns out there to deal with.”

“We all can’t help but wonder if our wonderful ex-President was referring to anyone in particular. I don’t think so, I think Mr. Obama, as always, is combining the rhetorical with the subliminal, as do most geniuses when speaking,” said Mary Ann Gates, his press secretary, afterwards.

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