President Trump on Friday blamed local Washington, D.C., lawmakers for ballooning costs that forced the cancellation of his planned military parade.
“The local politicians who run Washington, D.C. (poorly) know a windfall when they see it,” Trump tweeted. “When asked to give us a price for holding a great celebratory military parade, they wanted a number so ridiculously high that I cancelled it. Never let someone hold you up!”
Trump’s solution, however, is leaving many on Capitol Hill scratching their heads.
“I have contracted Ringling Brothers to celebrate the spirit of me, with me, at Andrews Air Force Base. The projected cost of the Ringling Brothers full entourage is only $35,000 for the entire day. This includes Henrietta the Elephant, a cool looking guy who shoots out of a cannon, and all the popcorn you can eat. This Presidency knows how to stay below budget when it absolutely has to, especially when it is concerning parades in my honor. We can’t let down these great people of the USA!”
Hours before the announcement, CNBC reported that Ringling Brothers was previously committed elsewhere, but packed their bags quickly into 35 trucks, and headed to Andrews Base.
Miles Stanley aka “Sprinkles the Clown”, told CNBC reporters “…it [the parade] was forced upon us. Secret Service men with black shades and earphones suddenly appeared under the big tent. The audience thought it was all part of the act. But we were whisked away without so much as any notice what was going on and told we had a new gig. These guys were extremely rude, they took away my unicycle and juggling balls and wouldn’t give them back! You just don’t take away a clown’s toys like that. I felt violated.”
Many anti-Trump supporters were quick to chastise the President’s decision. “Where are the military tanks? Where are the armored vehicles, the gun trucks and carriers, where are the fighter jets flying over the Air Force Base and painting the sky with streaks of red, white, and blue smoke? We want the twenty-million dollar parade as promised, which would have hurt the State’s budget!”
Picket signs soon went up by the angry Democrats: “#NotMyParade”
The Ringing Brothers janitorial department followed in the rear of the parade with a shovel in each hand. One worker motioned to a reporter, and whispered with a wink, “Lots of elephant crap here. And bull crap as well.”