Wikipedia defines The Occupy movement as “an international socio-political movement against social and economic inequality and the lack of “real democracy” around the world. It aimed primarily to advance social and economic justice and new forms of democracy.”
Though the end of the movement ended in late 2012, three guys in Wisconsin have held onto the ideology, and actually have managed to pivot it’s meaning throughout the last few years to fit their lifestyle.
“At first, we occupied Wall Street,” said Dan Venditelli, “but then that whole balloon popped, and me and my guy friends kind of needed to adjust course.”
Venditelli’s friend who wished to remain anonymous elaborated: “Next deal was occupying a flea market in Albany. Then we got ushered out of there, we spent some time up and down the East Coast occupying various locations including a church basement rummage sale, an Arby’s in Boston and finally decided to just pack our shit up and head to Wisconsin for the latest leg of our tour we call Occupy Cheese. It doesn’t meany anything, but we’ve really saddled ourselves to this whole Occupy Movement, so why not, right? Cheese is decent.”
Undeniably, Wisconsin has historically been well known as “America’s Dairyland,” and supplied the country with a large majority of these cheese over the last three decades, so it is unclear what the guys are trying to prove with their Occupy Cheese movement.
“Cut the shit,” continued Venditelli, “we’ve got nothing left, we occupy port-a-potties more than anything else these days. We have nowhere to go, nothing to do. We sit around all day eating month old Red Apple Smoked cheese. Come to think of it, that stuff really binds me up. I go to the port-a-pottie for a break, but I haven’t actually gone to the bathroom since late April.”
Venditelli gazed off into the distance, trailing off something about “America’s Dairyland? More like America’s Boring Land.”