Donald Trump is #winning. When you type the word “idiot” into Google’s image search, Trump is the first returned result.

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The President recently heard this revelation, and had a lot to say about it at this morning’s press conference.

“… as far as this Goo Goo thing is concerned, look… I use the Internet. As you know, I decided against closing it. Goo Goo is part of the fake news, ok? We all see it, but we can turn Goo Goo Off. Just push the button your remote control, it’s that simple. In the meantime, my team is bringing a judgment against Goo Goo for fake news in the form of cookies which taste really, really bad. I tried them. Let me tell you, it’s bad. They’re bad. Stay far away. We are suing Goo Goo.”

In respond to a direct question concerning the Google lawsuit, Trump held up his hands. “I cannot comment on this station any further. Like CNN, it’s all Fake News. Most people have over 250 channels to choose from. Soon, after we win from this lawsuit, there will be 249.”

“Mr. President, Google is an Internet Search Engine!” someone shouted. President Trump pointed directly at the individual.

“If it turns out that Ford or Chrysler produced these engines, I can promise you they will be brought into the lawsuit with Goo Goo. The more the merrier.”

Google’s secret algorithms help organize and prioritize information presented in search results. They made Google one of the most powerful companies on the planet, but they have also gotten the web giant into trouble. For example, after an offensive caricature of First Lady Michelle Obama appeared as the first result for searches on her name in 2009, Google posted a web ad explaining how algorithms generate search results.

“Concerning President Trump, search engines are a reflection of the content and information that is available on the Internet. A site’s ranking in Google’s search results relies heavily on computer algorithms using thousands of factors to calculate a page’s relevance to a given query,” Google said.

Trump’s counsel responded, on the record, that “The President took offense at being called a query, and is knee deep in litigation surrounding this slanderous comment.”

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